FROG - What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog? You know what...we DO taste like chicken!
Interview with Hillary - Well, I was interviewing Hillary Clinton the other day, and we came to the subject of her and Bill's sex life. I asked her "Hillary, is your sex life with Bill anything like what he had with Monica?", and she said "Well, close but no cigar."
Hair Up - Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Your Momma's so fat - Your mamma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!
Blonde quickies 141-160 - 141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool ? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. 142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU? A: Too many blondes were drowning. 143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. 144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit. 145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. 146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. 147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. 148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. 149. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. 150. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq? A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water. 151. Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date. A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home. 152. Q: What's the Blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..." 153. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds." 154. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A: She kept having affairs with men! 155. Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? 156. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. 157. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. 158. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. 159. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits!" 160. Q: How does a blonde high-5? A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Door joke - When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.
Blonde Joke - Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme
The De-Ranged Cowboy - Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys, back on the ranch, about his first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began. "You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the gate," Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on. "That would be the usher," Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said. "You mean the aisle," Charlie said. "Then he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued. "Pew," Charlie retorted. "Yeah," recalled joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."
Red Light Driving - Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Indifference - Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
Airline - A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class. The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class." "I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot. The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?" The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"
The Three Idiots - Once, there were three guys stranded on an island, and the mainland was 100 miles away. The first guy swam 25 miles, and drowned. The second guy swam 50 miles, and drowned. The third guy swam 99 miles, and said,"I'm tired. I think I'll swim back."
Early shopping trip. - It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early sir", replied the defendant. "Well that's not an crime", said the judge! "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened", answered the prisoner.
Coach Wants A Raise - The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Rubbit the Rabbit - A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning. The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks." "Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm." "We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk." "Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home." "We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear." So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops. The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"